Today was pretty much of a boring day. I woke up by 11 am and then ate lunch, took a bath and it’s off to the CS lib for me. Stayed there till 4 pm, when I finally decided that my head aches and that I’ve had a good date with my readings. Sat by sunken garden alone for about an hour just watching people – mostly the happy high school kids who were there with their barkada. But then I had to go home and then it’s back to my readings.Whew! I’m feeling the heat right now. Midterms week na talaga!

            A part of me realized that I lack effort in my studies. It seems that I’m not doing enough. That having friends down the block has somehow shadowed me from my main purpose of getting a light load: SHIFTING TO BAA! Sure, gone is the lonely jel who is too pressured to cope up academically with chem and math. Gone is the jel who feels alone, desolate and miserable. Gone is the focused, driven jel. Here I am, happy… but without direction, or is it really that?

            Now, I HAVE TO FOCUS! This is for me. This is for my future. So what if I’m no longer as sociable as I used to be? So what if at times it gets lonely? So what? Because in the near future, I wouldn’t want that “So what if you have many friends? Are you successful? Are you fulfilled? Have you a purpose in life?”

            So now, when I feel that my luck has turned and my grades are on the line and my parents are expecting A LOT from me (hell… I AM EXPECTING A LOT FROM MYSELF!), FOCUS JEL! Atleast if you fail, you know you did all that you can… No regrets. No bitterness. Because You know you did your BEST.