After two weeks worth of non-stop academic commitments such as long exams, quizzes, papers, recitations and the like, ACLE was a refreshing break in my oh-so-stressful schedule. For the past three ACLEs of my UP life, I have found this time as an excuse to hang around with my group of friends or sleep in the dormitory. I thought it was unfortunate of me to join the fates of the few students who were actually required to go to ACLE. My first impulse upon hearing this assignment was to just get a certificate from a friend who is part of the organizing committee of their ACLE. As if Ma’am Amparado was reading my mind, she hastily says, “And submit a reaction paper together with that certificate.” My exact reaction then was “WHAT?!” 0_o – with the matching facial expression.
On January 24, Thursday, no choice but to actually go to ACLE or else bluffing a reaction paper and risk my peace of mind by being academically dishonest, I forced my friend to accompany me and participate in the Alternative Classroom Learning Experience. After finally settling for something we both think we could bear to sit four hours in, we marched to PH403 with charged cell phones and lots of food as back up in case it was another boring classroom experience. Of course, we had high hopes on our selected ACLE for its title alone stirred an image of a contemporary, youthful twist to love. A film showing followed by a talk on I-net ng Pagmamahal definitely sounds interesting.
My optimism, however, was crushed by the first hour of the film showing. You Got Mail is said to be a classic love story revolving on two rival businesspeople, who by a sudden twist of fate, found themselves oblivious to each other’s true identity while nurturing a love affair through the internet. It was an ironic love story that should have made me all mushy but it did not. I was bored for many reasons such as the slow pacing of the story, the repeating angry, conflicting emotions of the characters, and the outdated scenes of dial-up technology and country-ish setting.
When it finally ended, I was bracing myself for a boring lecture discussion. However, as I was expecting the worst, bubbly Ms. Cherry Joy Billedo from the Department of Psychology was introduced to facilitate the discussion. My friend was now hurriedly whispering to me that she was a good teacher and that internet relationships have been her focus of study for the longest time. Indeed, I learned a lot from this after-film discussion. It confirmed a lot of my internet experiences and relationships as well.
Ms. Billedo starts by debunking the myth that our internet persona is the opposite of our real life self. Studies have proved that social networks online actually reflect our social relationships in real life. She explains, “The thing is, in the internet, we become individuated such that we do not use the same standards that we use when we deal with people physically. Thus, things we can’t do in person, we can do online through the individuated experience!” As for the relationship aspect, she emphasizes that the internet is merely a medium. It does not change us in terms of desire or the ability to attract people. It is a tool that merely allows us the opportunity to widen our social circle and meet a lot of people simultaneously online.
There are pros and cons in internet relationships that we must consider. An advantage of online relationships is that it nurtures and develops communication. It is no longer difficult to make long distance relationships work because the internet is very accessible to almost all people in all parts of the world. It is most advantageous in forming relationships since you can meet a lot of people that you usually wouldn’t have met in your physical daily world. However, we must be wary that the internet allows people to be less honest due to limited cues. One might be assuming an idealized person to fill in the cues given to him. There is also a danger because there are people that are predatory. There are cases of cyber rape, harassment, and sex eyeball. It does not help as well that the internet is yet an unregulated medium.
This ACLE, I believe, was more of a reminder to us, young users, that though the internet offers exciting promises such as romance and relationships, we must be cautious as well. Not all internet relationships end with happily ever after like You Got Mail.
